Trapped and Twisted – A Cry For Help

He’s suffocating in a spider’s web!

He feels grounded like a rooted tree!

He’s had a bad week, taunted by his own emotions, but a good week at school.

His hours have changed to accommodate his needs; his mother is grateful.

It’s a cold winter morning and the dew has settled like broken rivers along the lawn.

He stares, crab like, at the droplets of collected mist that dangle along the window.

A spider’s web he sees, like a field of patchwork silk, yet broken up along the way.

Flies trapped in a cauldron!

His eyes wander through and beyond the tangled web and glares at a twisted nest below an uprooted tree.

‘I feel like that fly’, he says – trapped, just waiting to be taken!

‘I feel like that tree’, he says – twisted like roots! 

Senseless and Alone – A Cry For Help

It all seems senseless!

I feel so alone!

Its 1 o’clock and his lesson has started.

He shivers uncontrollably, his vision like ping pong balls being thrown across the room. He try’s hard to focus on his desk but his art work topples to the floor.

‘What are you doing!’, the teacher shouts

He cannot hear, he cannot focus, he can’t do anything right to adjust his fall.

There is a twenty second delay!

A hand is offered, but not to the child. It is the art work that is deemed more important and returned to its original setting!

No wonder he feels all alone!

 

Arms Bandaged – A Cry For Help

His arms are bandaged!

He doesn’t feel the pain!

She tells me – “He’s had a good week – but it’s also been a bad week!”

From a stable home, caring parents and much love and help to control his demons, it’s still not been enough for this teenager. Socially its been a better week, mixing in with his peers, but it’s still not enough for this teenager.

He’s thin and eating is a problem.
He makes himself sick; he butchers his body – it’s the only way he sees how to control his emotions.

An unfortunate set back when things were going so well.
A Mothers worse nightmare.

She enters his room in the early hours of the morning, awoken by instinct, not alerted by noise. His white bed sheet; soaked. His arms dripping like droplets of water, seeping through rock crevices.

He is taken to hospital for care and bandaged. But no bandage, will heal his demons.

He tells her…. “I want to be happy and normal, but I don’t know how to”


What needs to happen to help this teenager come

out of the dark hole he lives in?

What Will it take to help this teenager

be rid of his dark demons?

His arms HAVE no more spaces left for them to bleed!

She feels the pain – its her way of coping!

Talented And Alone – A Cry For Help

Academic Potential!

Socially Isolated!

I want to shout out loud, but all there is, is an open ocean!

I want to curl up in a ball, but my body is stiff !

Are we too blind and busy to recognize the needs of troubled teenagers these days?

The hardened peer pressure that is thrust upon them. The constant demands to do well at school. The need to be socially cool if you are to be accepted within a group.

Academically this boy is bright; he doesn’t like school and his attendance reflects this. He has a dream and a goal in life, but will this ever become reality if socially he struggles.

He is in the elite when it comes to intelligence. He is also artistically talented and gets bored with the slow pace in teaching. He writes poems and song lyrics; no doubt a mirrored reflection of his inner emotions. He is always one step ahead of his peers, could this be why he is struggling socially?

He shows me his art work, I am taken back; outstanding talent and skill. I question him –
“Why did you draw this picture?” expecting him to express an emotion.
But he’s polite and replies…
“No reason I just like drawing”…….
But I could see there was more to it then what he says…….

I want him to be like the Ocean; open up; release his weighted wave and let it wash away.

The Ocean has receded  –  I’m shouting – but still no-one hears!

My body now curls and I am all alone!

An Emotional Struggle – A Cry For Help 

I’m struggling emotionally!

I’m struggling to breath!

I took time out today to catch up with my special friend.

We walked leisurely through the forest woods, taking in the mirrored scenery of tall pines, that shadowed calmly onto the glinting lake. Our pups moving in and out, gliding through undergrowth, like squirrels hunting for nuts.

I could see she was tired, her eyes like seaside lollipops; big and stripy; waiting to be sucked in and reduced for good. She’s drained, emotionally, everything has been sucked out of her. She has and still is doing her best to hold the family together, to be rid of the bad thoughts and actions her son desires.

She is the rock of the family, everyone relies on her.

Like a dark hole drawing her in, she then tells me she can’t do it anymore!

Her own emotions are now being drawn into her own son’s mind-set. She thinks about it, she talks about it – but she knows she can’t do it! What would they do ‘Without Her’!

But she can, she is strong and tomorrow will be another day.  Where she weakens today, she will wake tomorrow, even stronger to continue to nurture her son’s thought process, to protect him from the demon leaches, his feelings and emotions.

She’s struggling emotionally!

She is struggling to breath!

‘A Cry For Help – But Is Anyone Listening?’

I am struggling to find the words!

I am struggling with my emotions!

This blog is not easy to write, nor will it yet end; there is more to cover and say.
My fingers trembling; my heart racing!

We all have special friends don’t we. The ones who you can rely on unconditionally and whose children socialized together, partied; shared hobbies; spent birthdays; enjoyed sleep overs and even spent holidays together. In fact, it wasn’t just the children, the adult’s too, that’s why they are special!

I am an older parent. In my day they called us DINKY”s – double income, no kids – ‘yet’! An expression for a generation of hardworking couples hungry for a big career and children later. Not that, that really matters, but does relate as my friend is much younger.

She once expressed that she has always had someone of an older influence watch over and protect her in some form or another throughout her life, and, as one moves on and fades into the distance another one appears. I believe I am her 4th influence – but I will not fade away – I am an Aquarian – loyal to the core!

We both believe people are in our lives for a reason!

Our working lifestyles have become complicated these last few years, which means we can go many months without seeing each other, although we would text, especially as our children have grown older, but when reunited, its like it was only yesterday.

I wanted to start blogging to share ‘life’s bubbles’ and those of others, with an objective, where possible, to heighten the awareness that is contained within it – SO……..

Why am I struggling to find the words?

Why am I struggling emotionally?

What can you say, what can you do, how will you feel,
when your special friend tells you that her
youngest Son is on suicide watch?

What can you say, what can you do, how will you feel,
when you find out the professional body involved tells her –
“Can’t you not keep your child alive, away from any sharps, tablets etc:,
for the next six days before your first appointment?  

  Now you know; why I am struggling to find the words and

that my emotions are running high.


My heart is like a bottomless pit – suffocating in the smog below.

Here’s a Cry For Help – But Is Anyone Listening!

How many more children are suffering out there and not being heard!

 

 

 

Living Life In Bubbles

Today’s little ‘life bubble’ for me is one of apprehension!

Today as a first time blogger, it’s like starting a new job!
I’m anxious, fearful, worried and in panic ……

The title of my page is – “life’s 1 big bubble” because for me it is…..!

Ever sat back and analysed all those life bubbles you have burst and the consequences and impact they have had on others, let alone yourself. Emotional, physical, social and the list goes on. I still have many life bubbles waiting to burst!

I am starting this blog site so I can express and share, not just my own life experiences, but of others too around me who wish to do the same. Some ‘life’ experiences I am sure you can relate to………

Having only just joined the blogging community, I am still a ‘novice’, hence my apprehension. Lots to learn still to set this up properly. However, until next week when I share one of those bubbles that burst with you  …..
My Thought for the day is:

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today”
H.G.Wells

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